Self- esteem and confidence get us through life in so many ways. They are traits you can practice every single day. Starting to build these traits as a child helps them grow up to be a happy, productive, fearless, and powerful person in their decision making. The more of it they have, the more control they have over their own lives.
Confidence and self-esteem are the way we think and feel about ourselves. It is the way we learn to control our emotions and having it effects everything in our lives. Webster’s Dictionary describes confidence as “a feeling or consciousness of one’s power or of reliance on one’s circumstance.” Confidence and self-esteem build a “Yes I Can” mentality rather than a fearful approach that keeps us held back from living a full life where we feel in control.
With social media and technology, kids are growing up comparing themselves to others on a constant basis. This breeds thought of FEAR, doubt, insecurity, being unfocused, and just plain critical of themselves constantly. With these doubts, they don’t believe they can achieve what they’re capable of. They don’t understand the “Why NOT me” mentality if they’re constantly second guessing themselves and are fearful of taking ACTION.
Fortunately, kids can learn confidence & self-esteem with guidance from parents and adults who commit themselves to giving that gift to their children through personal development.
1. RESPECTED ROLE MODEL
First, you as a parent, need to feel good about yourself and have tools that you have used to build confidence in yourself so that you can teach those to your child. Your kids are watching you every step of the way and will use you first and foremost as their number one role model. They notice your body language and listen to the way you talk about yourself. If you’re constantly criticizing your own body image or criticizing your abilities in front of you child, they will learn that from you. Establish and validate your own self-worth and develop that muscle in your child so they learn to expect respect from themselves and from others.
2. GIVING YOUR CHILD ATTENTION
Holding space for your child and listening to them without distractions let’s them know that what they are saying to you is important. Allow them to express their feelings and desires without interrupting them will help them feel more confident about expressing their point of view. Showing them this they learn by example and it teaches them to do the same with other people in their lives.
Webster’s Dictionary defines Discipline as “to train in self-control or obedience.” This is a HUGE factor in contributing to your child’s future. If your child is lacking in discipline, more than likely, they will be more dependent on others, look to others to validate their feelings and decisions, and achieve less than those with discipline. With discipline comes learning without distractions and being able to feel safe in an environment where that is conducive to their confidence and self-esteem.
Children should know exactly what’s expected of them and this begins on your relationship with your child. They also must know of the consequences of misbehaving and have a desire to know what’s expected of them. Once they have that in place, they will strive to be better, do better, and achieve better things in their life. Once they start hitting goals, they will feel confident enough to continue to make those decisions that are right for them and in turn elevate them to the next level of success. The expectation and the approval will motivate them to learn more, reach out more, listen more, read more, etc. This all gives them a sense of being worthy. CONFIDENCE. SELF ESTEEM.
Responsibility defined in Webster’s Dictionary is “able to choose for oneself between right and wrong.” Adding responsibility to your child adds to their self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence. Giving them responsibility requires you, as the parent, to show them how to set goals, make a plan, do the work, and achieve those goals. Small goals lead to confidence and more goals to achieve. This feels good. And when we feel good, we want to achieve more to keep those feelings. Give them responsibility and expectations. They will thank you for it later.
Want to reinforce your child’s positive behavior? Recognize them. Show them you see them and their hard work. Validate their positive decisions and hard work. Know what their abilities are, their skills, talents, and interests and when you see them doing well and hitting goals, tell them and encourage them to keep doing those things. Giving them that recognition will help elevate them to their next level and to the next thing they’re interested in to succeed. Every time they succeed at doing something they’re interested in; it just gives them more confidence to keep doing it.
Be honest with your praise. Telling them they’re doing well at something they’re not, does not help them get better. It just helps them do the same thing wrong again. They will learn from their mistakes, but they must know that putting themselves out there for that risk was a great first step. Then you reevaluate and do it again with more confidence and a bigger intention to do it better the next time.
Giving honest praise helps them learn to value their own talents and skills and see that they are a capable person and will give them the courage to see themselves in a positive way.
When a child is struggling with something in their life and has confidence in themselves, they will feel more encouraged despite the difficulty. They will know they have talent, will take pride in those skills, and move forward with confidence of success instead of fear of regrets.
6. PROMOTING FEELINGS OF SUCCESS
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, and try again.” Every time a child tries something and succeeds, it boosts their self-esteem. Encourage your child to try new experiences while giving them the expectation of the experience. Let them practice before. If they’re giving a speech at school, let them write it and practice it multiple times before. They will gain confidence with the practice and they will feel more successful because they prepared and knew exactly what to expect in that situation. This helps visualize that feeling of success as they stand up knowing they did their BEST.
Murray’s Martial Arts personal development curriculum is a structured, time-proven way to achieve these benefits. The values your child learns from a martial art will be able to be carried with them their entire life. Stop by our school today and ask the instructor how you can arm your child with Confidence and Self-Esteem!
From Your Friendly Martial Arts School!
Here’s What parents like you
are saying about our classes
“My son has long loathed physical activity of all kinds. He doesn’t participate in team sports, so it was important for me that he still remains active, but finding something he would agree to attend was never easy. When he finally agreed to karate, I was thrilled, and now he is completely hooked and looks forward to going each week. The instructors have made all the difference in his interest level. They are so great with the kids, engaging, energetic, and kind. My son loves meeting the different challenges the Senseis create for the classes. I would highly recommend Murray’s Martial Arts!”
“My 8 year old son has been doing karate for over a year now and continues to love every minute of it! The sensei’s are so patient with all the kids and they are super friendly! Since my son started his confidence in himself has gone threw the roof as well as his focus. He has made such awesome friends along the way. I would highly recommend murray’s martial arts”
“We love the staff at Murray’s Martial Arts in Irondequoit. From day one, our son has been engaged and at times, entertained by the fun, caring, senseis. As a mom, I feel my son’s characters is growing with each.”