First, you as a parent, need to feel good about yourself and have tools that you have used to build confidence in yourself so that you can teach those to your child. Your kids are watching you every step of the way and will use you first and foremost as their number one role model. They notice your body language and listen to the way you talk about yourself. If you’re constantly criticizing your own body image or criticizing your abilities in front of you child, they will learn that from you. Establish and validate your own self-worth and develop that muscle in your child so they learn to expect respect from themselves and from others.

Holding space for your child and listening to them without distractions let’s them know that what they are saying to you is important. Allow them to express their feelings and desires without interrupting them will help them feel more confident about expressing their point of view. Showing them this they learn by example and it teaches them to do the same with other people in their lives.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Discipline as “to train in self-control or obedience.” This is a HUGE factor in contributing to your child’s future. If your child is lacking in discipline, more than likely, they will be more dependent on others, look to others to validate their feelings and decisions, and achieve less than those with discipline. With discipline comes learning without distractions and being able to feel safe in an environment where that is conducive to their confidence and self-esteem.

Children should know exactly what’s expected of them and this begins on your relationship with your child. They also must know of the consequences of misbehaving and have a desire to know what’s expected of them. Once they have that in place, they will strive to be better, do better, and achieve better things in their life. Once they start hitting goals, they will feel confident enough to continue to make those decisions that are right for them and in turn elevate them to the next level of success. The expectation and the approval will motivate them to learn more, reach out more, listen more, read more, etc. This all gives them a sense of being worthy. CONFIDENCE. SELF ESTEEM.

Responsibility defined in Webster’s Dictionary is “able to choose for oneself between right and wrong.” Adding responsibility to your child adds to their self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence. Giving them responsibility requires you, as the parent, to show them how to set goals, make a plan, do the work, and achieve those goals. Small goals lead to confidence and more goals to achieve. This feels good. And when we feel good, we want to achieve more to keep those feelings. Give them responsibility and expectations. They will thank you for it later.

Want to reinforce your child’s positive behavior? Recognize them. Show them you see them and their hard work. Validate their positive decisions and hard work. Know what their abilities are, their skills, talents, and interests and when you see them doing well and hitting goals, tell them and encourage them to keep doing those things. Giving them that recognition will help elevate them to their next level and to the next thing they’re interested in to succeed. Every time they succeed at doing something they’re interested in; it just gives them more confidence to keep doing it.

Be honest with your praise. Telling them they’re doing well at something they’re not, does not help them get better. It just helps them do the same thing wrong again. They will learn from their mistakes, but they must know that putting themselves out there for that risk was a great first step. Then you reevaluate and do it again with more confidence and a bigger intention to do it better the next time.

Giving honest praise helps them learn to value their own talents and skills and see that they are a capable person and will give them the courage to see themselves in a positive way.

When a child is struggling with something in their life and has confidence in themselves, they will feel more encouraged despite the difficulty. They will know they have talent, will take pride in those skills, and move forward with confidence of success instead of fear of regrets.